All posts by beatrixd

27Mar/17

Joke Of The Week

In the middle of the night, a guy hailed a taxi.
After a few minutes, the guy in the taxi wanted to chat with the driver so he leaned forward and tapped him lightly on his shoulder.
The driver suddenly yelled, panicked, jumped up in the air and yanked the wheel over. The car mounted the curb, demolished a fire hydrant and stopped inches from a parked car.
The startled passenger said “I didn’t mean to frighten you, I just wanted to talk with you.”
The taxi driver says “It’s not your fault sir. It’s my first day as a cab driver…
I have been driving a hearse for the past 20 years.”

A guy meets his buddy at the bar.
He says, “I don’t want to brag, but when I walked in, those two girls by the door looked at me, then both said to each other, ‘nine’ “. His buddy said, “Really? When I walked in, they were speaking German!”

15 Best Two-Line Jokes
1    Parallel lines have so much in common It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
2    My wife accused me of being immature. I told her to get out of my fort.
3    Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
4    How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, they’re efficient and not very funny
5    What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn’t matter; it’s not going to come.
6    Someone stole my Microsoft Office and they’re gonna pay. You have my word.
7    What’s green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.
8    Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor Bastard.
9    How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You look for the fresh prints.
10    I went to a really emotional wedding the other day. Even the cake was in tiers.
11    We have a genetic predisposition for diarrhea. Runs in our jeans.
12    A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building. He yells “Don’t do it! You have so much potential!”
13    Want to hear a word I just made up? Plagiarism.
14    To the handicapped guy who stole my bag – You can hide but you can’t run.
15    I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster. If anything, it made him more sluggish.

Do you know how much I hate observational comedy?
This much.

What did the car say to the car keys?
You turn me on.

A termite walks into a bar and asks…
Is the bar tender here?

Running with scissors is a bad idea.
Then again, so is scissoring with the runs.

For The kids…
What do you call an airplane you have to catch?
A paper airplane.

Scientists removed the right half brain of a man and then, they asked him to count to ten. The man counted, “two, four, six, eight, ten.” Then they put the right-half back and removed the left-half, and again asked the man to count to ten. The man counted, “one, three, five, seven, nine.” The scientists then removed both halves of the man’s brain, and asked him again to count to ten. The man said, “look, we’re gonna count to ten. We’re gonna count. Because I know numbers, I have the best numbers. All the politicians in Washington can’t count to one-believe me, I’ve counted to one many, many times. They said we couldn’t count to ten. Well, I’m beating all of those people in the polls. We’re gonna count to ten. Everybody, count to ten. Okay? And let me tell you – let me tell you something. I will be the best counting President God has ever created. We are gonna count to so many tens, I tell you. Look at that!”

Don’t send a noble gas as a make-up present.
They change nothing.

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23Mar/17

Dreams Come True with Zander

12654534_10208367462054782_6347642253030275753_nI was born and raised in Chicago.  I got my career started in suburbia.  I landed my first gig in the big city and saw first-hand the birth of the Active Rock format as a weekender/swing jock at WRCX ROCK 103-5 in 1994.  I logged on-air time in the CHI at WCKG, WLUP 97-9 The Loop (teenage dream come true!), WZZN 94-7 The Zone, and WDRV 97-1FM The Drive.  I was interspersed over the years…weekender at the legendary 93 ‘QFM in Milwaukee and Creator/Host/Producer of The Rockin’s 80’s national radio show, heard all over North America for 10 years.  Now I’m the PD/Afternooner at WXRX in Rockford – a return to the scene of the crime for me; I did a Saturday Night request show here on The X in early ’94!
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21Mar/17

Cutter Fangirling with Bring Me the Horizon

Screen Shot 2017-03-21 at 9.56.13 AMAs Cutter sits down backstage with Oli Sykes and Jordan Fish from Bring Me the Horizon the subject of “fangirling” comes up. You know, having that moment with your favorite band or artist where you are such a huge fan that you just can’t even bring yourself to talk to them or you if you do you make a fool of yourself? We’ve all had those moments and those who haven’t, wish they had. Time to get in touch with our inner fangirl and an in depth conversation with Bring Me The Horizon about writing, doing things your own way, That’s the Spirit and much more.

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20Mar/17

On the Radar, week of March 20

screen-shot-2016-03-19-at-5-18-35-pmRobert England

Good morning everybody! Happy first day of spring!!! Marshmallow Peeps are everywhere. Let’s talk a little music. Celebrating its 5th week at #1, Shinedown “How Do You Love?”  #2^, Breaking Benjamin “Never Again,” up 105 spins and just 11 spins from #1.  Moving a notch to 3^, Korn “Take Me.”  The track is up 118 spins.  #4 is The Pretty Reckless “Oh My God.”  Streaming this week, 81k, 1.7 million to date. #5 is Beartooth “Hated,”  11.5 million total streams.  The track is #1 iTunes recent release.  Corey Taylor of Slipknot and Stone Sour comments, “This band give me hope for the future.”  Check out the video; 1.8 million views to date. (more…)

13Mar/17

Avenged Sevenfold announce headlining shows with A Day To Remember and Volbeat

Avenged Sevenfold with Lou Brutus

Avenged Sevenfold with Lou Brutus

Adding to their already busy year with festival shows and touring with Metallica, Avenged Sevenfold just announced eight more headlining shows.

These shows will have Volbeat and A Day to Remember as direct support. Check out the newly added stops below along with the rest of the band’s North American road schedule below.

Here is Avenged Sevenfold’s full tour itinerary: (more…)

13Mar/17

On the Radar, week of March 13

Shinedown - Asking For It (Atlantic) 4-19Robert England

Goood morning everybody!  We lost an hour, so let’s get to it.  Shinedown “How Did You Love” is #1 again this week, 2^ is Breaking Benjamin “Never Again.”  The track is up 55 spins.  3^ is The Pretty Reckless “Oh My God.”  New power rotation at KXXR, KLAQ, WWBN, WTPT and WQBK.  In rotation at iHeart Custom.  (I liked Premium Choice better.) Moving a notch to 4^, Korn “Take Me.”  The track is up 56 spins.  New airplay at WXNX.  Moving a notch to 5^, Beartooth “Hated.”  The track is up 87 spins.  Congratulations to Beartooth, Joe Guzik and Chris Belonis at Red Bull Records.   (more…)

13Mar/17

Tool Announce 2017 North American Tour

ToolLast week the band teased fans with a post on upcoming tour dates. Today, Tool posted on their Facebook page alerting fans “We are very excited to announce that TOOL will be bringing their unparalleled sonic and visual experience to a select number of cities in May and June 2017.”

This comes just a few weeks after news broke of Maynard James Keenan beginning vocal work on Tool’s highly anticipated fifth studio album.

Check out the current list of North American tour dates below!

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09Mar/17

The POWER OF RADIO

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THIS is what it’s all about! The email you are about to read is from a listener of hardDrive and hardDrive XL with Lou Brutus. THIS  is the POWER OF RADIO and how it makes listeners feel. THIS reinforces WHAT we do! Amen!  (more…)